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I'm Alyssa Wack, a Motherhood Relationship Trauma Coach. After struggling to adjust to the mental and emotional load of being a Mother and deciding I want to parent differently I decided to focus on my own journey of healing, self-regulation and breaking cycles. I discovered the transformative power of emotional clarity and conscious connection—and I’ve dedicated myself to helping other women find the same!

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I told him.. "I'm noticing I'm feeling bothered -

I told him.. "I'm noticing I'm feeling bothered - I'm not saying it's correct but also not saying it isn't. Can you hold space for me?"

He wasn't thrilled & honestly? I totally understand

This has been a regular point of tension for us in the past that even bringing up I felt bothered without more context, he knew

He was anticipating the conflict before it happened

I assured him, "I know we've talked about this before, I'm not upset with you. I want to talk because I want you to take the time you feel you need and not feel affected."

"I'm noticing thoughts like 'somehow you taking time off takes away from me' or 'if I was in your position, you wouldn't take that kind of time off for me'. I'm not sure if this is fact or old stuff for me, can we explore this together?"

As I heard my own words, "if I was in your position, you wouldn't take that kind of time off for me".. it didn't feel right

He said, "it's not like you don't have support or like I haven't offered."

Old me might have argued. New me? She's more vulnerable & less clouded by emotion

He was right. I knew where I was feeding into it

& if I know where I'm feeding into it, it means I can change it

It's not that I didn't have the support. Where I didn't, my mom would help no problem. Or she would help no problem before I even needed to get him

Deep down I felt like a burden asking him, or felt tension, like he didn't want to - whether that's true or feeding into how I've felt my whole life about men, it doesn't matter

I have never known what it has felt like to feel fully supported by a man and at some point, I built a wall to create distance

Except that distance doesn't match the kind of relationship I crave

The irony? As I was sitting at the dinner table contemplating all this..

I was sick with a head cold

I laughed and said "here I am, feeling annoyed with you taking these sick days and how if I'm sick you wouldn't take them. Yet here I am. Sick. & you're home."

I could feel the frustration of it all slowly melt away. I could see next time I'm unwell, that I ask for more help from him. And while he was home for the four days, I did 🖤

Jason was gone golfing that night, when he came ho

Jason was gone golfing that night, when he came home I was still on the deck

Part of me didn't want to tell him - out of shame and fear what he might think

But I also knew, it's part of my healing. So I told him anyways.

He had said to me "You're a great mom, you aren't going to get it right all the time and that's OK."

I remember how frustrated I felt, almost angry that he didn't hate me

But deep down, I knew - how I handled that night.

How I immediately repaired. I apologized. I co-regulated. I held space for her experience. I shared what I would see me doing differently to have created a more ideal outcome, one that creates connection.

I was breaking cycles.

I never had someone embody that to me before. And that in itself was healing.

It also made me realize how important it is to repair with myself after, for the cycle to truly be broken.

And I’m going to show you how too!

Two ways to explore we can explore this together:

1️⃣ In-person: Women's Breathwork Circle – Healing Anger/Mom Rage on March 30th. Comment or DM "rage" for the link.

2️⃣ Virtual: Regulated AF Workshop on April 15th—not just a space to learn the tools but who to use them in real time. DM "Regulated" for the link.

It's one thing to know what to do—it’s another to actually put it into action (or at least it was for me!)

Let me bridge that gap for you. 🖤🌱

#motherhood #momguilt #motherhoodstruggles #emotionalgrowth #emotionalrelease #emotionalregulation #emotionalintelligence #copingskills #generationaltrauma #generationaltraumahealing #cyclebreaker #traumahealing

I remember the day that I vowed to change.. She w

I remember the day that I vowed to change..

She was about 1.5 years old

She was doing something I had asked her not to

But to be completely fair, I was juggling a lot

I had a video up while I was making supper while I was at home alone with her.. insert thinking about the groceries I needed to add to my list of things

That when I came around the corner to find her doing something I didn't want her to be doing

It just came pouring out. I yelled at her, practically screamed at the top of my lungs

I've never seen her move so fast, the look of terror on her face

I was horrified

I was the cause of that terror

Her little legs were taking her as fast as they could in the opposite direction of me, but she didn't make it very far, maybe eight feet.. around the time she realized I was the only other one in the home

she wheeled herself around bawling, coming running to the very thing her body wanted her to run from, the thing that just caused the look of terror

The worst part was seeing her reaction

Though I didn't realize it at the time, seeing her response in that moment? Took me right back to a time when I was once her in shoes. Re-experiencing it all again, but from a different vantage

It was moments like these I'd hold to me closely, not wanting to share with anyone, terrified they might confirm how, deep down, I already felt. Like I was the worst mom in the world.

I remember sitting on the floor with my back against my cabinets crying afterwards, apologizing to her for having reacted that way.

Helping her to try to find her calm but struggling to find mine in my guilt and shame

The more I began opening up about my own experiences with friends, the more I realized.. I wasn't the only one. How I'd want to give them a hug and assure them, that isn't who you are. How we thought we were good but then the emotions would hit hard and it would take right over

My list of these moments between therapy sessions.. felt big. How could I possibly "unpack" all of this?

I wanted to know - how can I support myself in real time to create long lasting change so these moments happen less & are dialed down considerably

You too? Peep comments 👀

What's really happening in these moments? Disconn

What's really happening in these moments?

Disconnection & dysregulation (survival/threat mode)

Blood leaves brain (yes, we get dumber) + goes to limbs to fight flight freeze or fawn

Fight looks like explosive rage + yelling, feeling defensive, storming out, slamming things

Flight looks like spacing out, feeling anxious/overwhelmed, unintentionally distracted, unable to sit still

Freeze looks like spacing out/unable to listen, mindless scrolling, feeling unable to do anything

Fawn looks like showing little emotion, giving in "fine whatever!"

I'm just not sure how any of that is useful in the situations we find ourselves in as parents🤦🏻‍♀️

What we really want in these moments?

Connection & regulation

So that blood can return to the brain, restoring our intuition, creativity, and critical thinking.

How do we create that?

We learn to support (connect with) ourselves in the moments emotions hit hard—when we feel irritable, overwhelmed, or angry.

We find our ground zero—a place we can find that space within ourselves where we feel steady + safe

AND create an outcome that results in connection

From that place, we can respond with intention rather than react from old patterns.

"But my emotions hit hard and take over..."

Yeah, mine used to, too!

Until self-regulation became the #1 priority + a regular practice in the thick of it

Everyone says, "you need therapy to break these patterns or heal trauma responses"

My problem was, what about the moments in between? I didn't want to wait a month until my next session. I wanted to know how to support myself in real-time—to move through emotional spirals, transform reactive patterns, and navigate even hidden trauma responses

And I’m going to show you how too!

Two ways to explore this with me:

1️⃣ In-person: Women's Breathwork Circle – Healing Anger/Mom Rage on March 30th. Comment or DM "rage" for the link.

2️⃣ Virtual: Regulated AF Workshop on April 1st—not just a space to learn the tools but who to use them in real time. DM "Regulated" for the link.

You don’t have to stay stuck in these cycles. I’ll show you how 🖤

When she asked, I felt slightly annoyed thinking "

When she asked, I felt slightly annoyed thinking "really, that's the first thing you want to do when you get home?"

I was thinking how it would be nice to take a moment to decompress from the morning activities, it's been busy. It would be nice to connect and just be, before we instantly enter into another thing.

So when I responded and said "I don't want that to be the first thing we do when we walk in the door is park ourselves in front of a screen"

She didn't care too much, she just immersed herself in something else

But then..

There I was literally minutes later catching myself thinking "OK, it'd be nice to grab my computer and get some more work done"

Like what?

Guilty as charged 💁‍♀️

I see where I'm playing into this

I see where I have the power to change her behavior by first focusing on mine 🤦🏻‍♀️

I see what isn't feeling good

I see where I want change - not just for her but me too!

No I'm not going to grab my computer and work - I'll follow my own words to what I said to her

The moments I want her to change or her behavior has been bothering me has been an opportunity for me to adjust, to be honest with myself and how I might be playing into what's happening in some way unknowingly. An invitation to be in deeper alignment with my own values and who I want to be🌱

We'll be exploring this in Regulated AF Workshop, happening Apr 1st. Comment or DM "REGULATE" to grab the link ✨

#motherhood #cyclebreaker #innerchildhealing #generationaltrauma #mindfulmom #emotionalintelligence #emotionalhealing #emotionalregulation #copingskills #generationaltraumahealing #selfhealing

I've found it easy to get hung up on wanting to ch

I've found it easy to get hung up on wanting to change her behavior...

But what’s been more useful? Looking at mine in correlation to hers.

Which I actually love—because if I'm part of the problem, that means I get to be part of the solution.

I’ve seen her behavior as a challenge, but I’ve also realized... I’ve been feeding it.

And that’s confronting—because it shines a light on what hasn’t been working.

Like today…

We were outside, and I felt pressure to get work done.
Did it need to be done right that second? No.
Did I want it done so it wasn’t hanging over me? Yes.
Would something else just replace it in my mind the second I finished? Also yes.

I almost said, “Five more minutes, then we go inside so I can work.”

But then it hit me—no wonder her go-to response has been TV.

So I decided to let playtime unfold naturally instead.

Ten minutes later? We went inside anyway—because we were hungry.

Then she asked for a bath.
My first instinct? No, I need to work.
But then I thought… why not?
She gets playtime, I get work time, and guess what? No TV.

I’m realizing how often I shut down her attempts to do things—not on purpose, but because they felt disruptive to my plans.

But here I am, sharing this with you…
I got more time than I bargained for, and she got what she needed, too.

I approach all conflict and tension in my relationships this way now… and let’s just say, it’s been a game changer! 🌱

That’s why I created the Regulated AF Workshop—a space to not just learn the tools, but how to apply them in real time which will help you start noticing the patterns so you can break the cycle & respond with clarity 🖤

#motherhood #motherhoodstruggles #emotionalintelligence #emotionalhealing #emotionalregulation #selfregulate #selfhealing #innerchildhealing #cyclebreaker #generationaltrauma #copingskills #mindfummom

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