Why I Decided to be a Stay At Home Mom

Never in a million years did I think I would quit my corporate job to stay at home with my daughter, nor did we plan for it. We built our dream home with the plan for two house hold incomes, that’s always been our plan. I always envisioned being a working parent, quite honestly, I still do. But becoming a mom changed my perspective on a lot of things and came to the realization some things needed to change.

I realized I wasn’t living a life based off my own values

Truth be told, for my whole adult life it always felt like something was missing. I wanted more and I had no idea what that more was, but it felt like an integral puzzle piece was missing. To some degree I think I thought motherhood would be that piece, or at least I thought it would be a destination that would give me deeper purpose. It did, but what I didn’t realize is that deeper purpose was never going to be fulfilled until I could first create a happier inner landscape. Only two months after my daughter was born, I was crying nearly every day miserable within my relationship with my husband. Him going out with friends felt like my needs and my wants didn’t matter. I was tired of feeling unappreciated, alone and utterly lost in my motherhood journey (yes, only two short months into the journey).

Honestly, stepping into motherhood only amplified how I had already felt before even getting pregnant in the first place. I had a sober moment of realizing, the way I was feeling and experiencing life as it was in that moment, I would never want Haedyn to be experiencing. That is no way to be going through life on the regular and I knew that if I wanted her to be experiencing something better I needed to find that path myself or she would be destined for the same future.

You’re probably wondering, OK. I was reading this because this post said it was why you decided to quit your job and stay at home with your kid. Yes, trust me, this is an essential part of the story! And it will probably be a part of yours too – I’ll get there I promise!

The day I decided I needed to find a happier version of me was a huge turning point in my motherhood journey. And it was a moment that changed not only my future, but my daughters too. I jumped into an empowerment program led by a spiritual mentor I leaned on in my infertility journey and never looked back. It got me more in tune with my intuition, so much so that it opened up my mediumship abilities that I decided to start practicing. But with that also came a lot of spiritual guidance I could tap into for myself at any time. Yes, woo woo. Don’t worry, you don’t need this to be able to make an informed and aligned decision for yourself.

But it was this that made me realize something and take a good hard look at my life as I knew it.

I created this life up until this point based off someone else’s values, not my own.

How did I know that? I was unhappy, in fact, my inner world was miserable. I was fighting with my husband regularly. I felt overwhelmed in my motherhood journey. I slowly began to isolate myself (keep in mind this was amid c-vid June 2020). I would over-react regularly. Cry daily. Looking back and knowing what I do know as someone who has deeply studied trauma, mindset, somatics and healing – these were inner cries for help saying something needed to change. They were SYMPTOMS of living in a way that was completely out of integrity with who I am and what I value.

When I took a look at the things that brought me the most joy,

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